Song of the day

I think this song is appropriate right now…

Elena P./Slavi Trifonov – Why?

Time for break,but not really

Here it is – the long-waited 5-day break for Thanksgiving. Well, for me it started last Friday because I had only choir (the other meetigns and classes got cancelled) and then Monday and Tuesday I did not have any SGA meetings and again several classes were cancelled. On Saturday, me and my roommate went shopping to KC. It was fun. I found a little black dress for Hanging of the green and some other things. Since Monday I have been working to college applications – addressing envelopes, organizing documents, etc. And yes, today is Wednesday and I am still covered with papers..arghhh…13 colleges??? What was I thinking??? Oh well, it is too late to give up. Hopefully I will finish the paperwork today and I will start the leftover essays. There will be lots of writing this 5 days – app. essays, JKC essays, Psychology and Religions papers…phew…

BUT the good news are there are 3 weeks till the end of the semester!! Yeeyy I am so ready to be done. Yes, I enjoy what I am doing…I am just tired…

For whatever reason I am listening to Rammstein and Nightwish right now

Yeah, right!

Ooo how nice it is to hear from everyone how special I am, how smart, bla la la…Huh, but do you know how much it hurts when the reality crashes on you??? Yes, I am good at doing all hw on time, get staright As, ect, but when it comes to critical thinking and using the skills I have developed – well, then I SUCK!!! I just opened the College Board and of course did not find a nice surprise. 1740 on SAT *blah*….yes, SAT is not such a big deal, but still…it hurts…Also November is frying by my side and I don’t have any college essays ready…Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Is it worth it?

Usually when I am havign tough days/ weeks I often wonder how much is actually worth it. Are the sleepless nights, the nerves, the tears, the stress worth it the zero social life I lead? Is there another way? I guess there is, but I don’t like it. I talked with one of my friends who transfered to Smith and she said that in order to lead some social life it is impossible to get more than Bs. Isn’t it the same here? I have straight As, but how many friends do I have? Pretty much almost none. How often do I watch a movie or hang around with people except for studying? Almost never. It looks like I need to choose one or the other. It looks like social life and academic excellence do not go hand in hand. Am I happy about it? I am not sure. I haven’t slept for the last two days and probably tonight will be the same (I don’t count 3-4 hours as enough sleep) so right now it is very hard to think straight. I feel the strength leaving my body…I need to keep going…

Weekend

След малкия ми душевен срив в четвъртък се взех малко в ръце както се казва и изкарах един сравнително мързелив weekend Петък вечер беше концерта на хора – мина добре. След това имахме dance party в моя hall – добре си потанцувах Вчера ходих до Канзас Сити на едно от road trips, които организират от колежа – беше готино и направих куп снимки йеее Днес се събудих в 10, ходих на обяд, говорих с Т (БГ) (да, стана ми мъчно пак, но като цяло се чувствах добре), писах по есетата за голямата стипендия (почти съм готова), после беше Pizza with the Prez. Уж всички казаха, че се справих добре ама аз се почувствах малко кофти, защото доста често не можеха да разберат въпроса, който четях и трябваше да се повтарям. Да, знам, че имам акцент ама не мисля, че е чак толкова зле или поне никога не ми е правило такова впечатление. След това гледах “The Secret”, филм който си беше малко като preaching как мислите ни влияят на начина ни на живот и беше малко странно на моменти. Взех си душ и сега ще си довърша есетата. Тази седмица няма да е толкова зле (поне засега не изглежда зле). Другата седмица имам два изпита, SAT results ще излезнат на 20ти а съботата след това със съквартирантката се каним да ходим на shopping до Канзас Сити, защото след Thanksgiving няма да има време за пазаруване на подаръци за Коледа, а тази година имам на кого да купя нещо (мойте трима сладурски братовчеди в Канада ).

Някак ми е спокойно в момента…дано се задържи по-дълго…

Song of the day

Akon – “Right Now (Na Na Na)”

I heard that song on Friday and since then I have been listening it all the time Too much truth in it Mainly in this part below…

It’s been so long
That I haven’t seen your face
I’m tryna be strong
But the strength I have is washing away
It won’t be long before I get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you
Tell you what’s been on my mind

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
We need to link up right now now now

Can you? Part II

I asked before if you can cry from happiness and I definately agreed that you can. Well, my answer was confirmed once again today.

Quita called me after I sent her an email to tell her that I am a nominee for All-USA Team scholarship from Cottey which means I have a pretty good chance to win 2500$. Dr. Rogers (the President of the college) and her husband are in California right now with Quita attending different fund raising and recruitement programs. So today there was a big lunch (I guess with the PEOs) where Dr. Rogers while talking about Cottey said that there was one very special girl from Bulgaria who was the SGA president, who was very smart, who was working very hard and how extremelly proud she was from that girl and how that gilr had her American mom (Quita)! There was more but I was already choking with tears and missed half of the other stuff…

I don’t think I have ever felt so appreciated and loved in all my life!

P.S. I think SAT went fine. I wrote everything and had enough time for the sections, but I am so exhausted right now and I think I am taking a shower, read a little bit and go to bed. I hope I feel better tomorrow…I need to feel better…