It all started with informational meeting in October 2008 when I first found how I could apply for a Jack Kent Cooke transfer scholarship. It sounded totally impossible and unreachable, but I decided that if I don’t try I will not have any chance of getting it. So I started writing draft essays to be considered for nomination. In the end of November I was informed I could start working on the actual application because I have been nominated. It took tons of revisions and long hours spent in Dr. Ross’ office but I submitted all my essays and financial information by mid-January. And then the waiting began…there years in a row a Cottey woman got the scholarship so I knew there is some chance even very small because the foundation receives around 800 nominations and selects approximately 50 scholars out of the 800. I knew from the girl who got it last year that the recipients are informed between April 30th and May 1st so since last Sunday I have been a total ball of nerves – it just hit me at once that my life could change forever in the next week or so. And so it happened today – I needed just one look at Dr. Ross’ face and I knew the impossible has happened – I have been selected as one of the Jack Kent Cooke scholars! You could learn more for the scholarship here.
Today has been the craziest and unbelievable day of my life! My hopes for Yale now are bigger than ever and the whole transfer process will be over in the next two weeks!!!
So many things have happened for the last month that I could hardly process that all this is happening to me!
защо на всеки няколко месеца ще се събудя сутринта и няма да мога да стана от леглото, защото цялата стая ще се върти около мен Като си бях в България, особено в Хасково на работа, ми се случи поне 3-4 пъти за една година и всеки път кръвното ми беше ниско и със малко кола и солен айрян се оправях. Да, но днес не беше ниско кръвно – даже беше малко по-високо от обикновено. Толкова ми се виеше свят, че ми се гадеше. Трябаше да взема две хапчета за повръщане, да изпия един куп вода и портокалов сок, да хапна солидно, да пропусна 2 часа за да легна, защото просто не можех да се фокусирам в една точка, за да се почувствам поне малко по добре чак към 6 вечерта, когато пък ме заболя главата. Ъррр…защо всичко това??? Стрес и преумора казват? Мм да възможно е, но в същото време все се упреквам, че ако сега ми идва на нагорно, какво ще правя като се прехвърля?
Искрено се надявам лятото, като си почина малко, да влезна в крачка пак, защото така не се издържа. И най-вече се дразня с цялото виене на свят защото не знам как да се лекувам – за всичко друго имам хапче, но не и затова
I have been thinking lately about friendships and home. Is there such things as lifelong friendships? I used to believe there was, but at the same time if the differences between friends keep growing bigger and bigger, could such a friendship continue its existence? I noticed that the more I learn, the more critical I have become which is good I guess, but at the same time I forget sometimes that other people might not have changed so much. Some people stay the same in their intelectual development – does this mean we couldn’t be friends any more? I hope not, but it’s getting harder and harder to talk with some of my friends just because there is almost no common topic left to talk about. Like yesterday, one of my best friends called me on Skype and started telling me how messed up his life was now. Well, I couldn’t keep my opinion back and just said what I thought – that if he had real desire to change things, he would change them for better. I have said this to him million times, but that’s how he is. Of course, my lecture on life did not help him much, but what else was I supposed to say? I am just pissed he wastes his time instead of doing something meanigful. Isn’t a good friend supposed to tell you the truth instead of telling you what you want to hear? Ah, so many unanswered questions.
And the other thing that came up to my mind is about the definition of home. What is home for you? Where you were born? Where your parents are? Where you live now or have lived for the last 20 years? I think for me home is a place you feel you belong to, where your loved ones are, where good memories are, where real friends are. Well, right now I don’t think I could call some specific place home. Back in Bulgaria there are too many painful memories and problems left, here at Cottey I have some friends, but I don’t think it fits my real vision of home. It was a home for the last two years, but it’s more like a transition place. I kind of miss not having a place where I long to go back. Well, maybe it’s better that way, I don’t get sad about not ”going home” for a long time, but then I am sad of not having such a place at all. Ah, weird as usual
It is very interesting to see how you could recognize your real friends in your best and your worst moments.
What are friends about actually? They are supposed to support you no matter what, right? Well, yes, I guess, but when an envy/ jealousy hits it could get dangerous. I think it is OK to be jealous in a good way, which equals more admiration than actually envy. However, many people cross the line of admiration and it might hurt when it is from someone closer. But hey, who said being on the top is easy? As an old saying goes: the king is all alone, so sometimes achievements could be hard.
But hard or not I am going to enjoy the moment because this is probably one of the happiest parts of my life for now and I sacrificied a lot to get here so no matter how immodest this sounds I deserved something good to happen finally and the efforts from the past 3 years have been toward that moment. And for people who wished they had what I have – well, I guess you did not want it as bad as I did. If you have told me all this would happen to me several years ago, I would just laugh at you. But once I decided I could do it, nothing was bad enough to stop me.
Things that I have worked hard I could easily receive and believe I deserve them. However, my mind still can’t understand how lucky I was to meet Quita and have her in my life. On the top of everything she had done so far, now she offers me to stay in Coronado, CA with her and her husband for the whole summer! Even in my wildest dreams I did not think I would ever have such type of summer.
I haven’t felt that happy for a very long time and I am still assimilating that all this is happening to me
Като си бях в България, особено в Хасково на работа, ми се случи поне 3-4 пъти за една година и всеки път кръвното ми беше ниско и със малко кола и солен айрян се оправях. Да, но днес не беше ниско кръвно – даже беше малко по-високо от обикновено. Толкова ми се виеше свят, че ми се гадеше. Трябаше да взема две хапчета за повръщане, да изпия един куп вода и портокалов сок, да хапна солидно, да пропусна 2 часа за да легна, защото просто не можех да се фокусирам в една точка, за да се почувствам поне малко по добре чак към 6 вечерта, когато пък ме заболя главата. Ъррр…защо всичко това??? Стрес и преумора казват? Мм да възможно е, но в същото време все се упреквам, че ако сега ми идва на нагорно, какво ще правя като се прехвърля?
